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Hi Reader,

Every conversation I've had recently has been my confessional. I listen to the horrors mounting at the hands of the U.S. government, and I fail to feel less guilty when I admit that I'm not paying as close attention as I should-- that I wrestle with a soul-level mandate to do something but feel frozen. That I am staying within the small bounds of my own life where I am reasonably happy, though the empathic pain and existential dread press in.

I know two reasons for my inaction, and there may be more. The first is the myth of the hero I inherited from a culture that retells its favorite story in movies, TV, books, and lore: The untruth that one brave action-taker can save us all. It's an archetype that insists that if you just have the moral commitment, extraordinary courage, and a determination to risk everything, you can shift the earth from its orbit. And so, by the measuring stick of the hero I fail miserably every day.

The other reason is perfectionism-- also inherited from a culture with a drive to eradicate all that is natural in favor of machine-like exactness and relentless productivity. It's hard to join in on liberatory community efforts when that means doing things I'm not good at yet, and stepping into the uncertainty of finding my bearings over time.

Just naming these blocks helps me. When I face them as the toxic banners of a toxic culture, I'm reminded that there are other stories, too. Stories that recur throughout history and that are awakening my imagination. True stories, which reveal that it isn't one hero who saves us all; it's all of us, the collective, each chipping away at the darkness in symphony, that will save us.

And I can ride out the discomfort of trying something new. I can learn from people who have been wielding their chisel for years. And I can venture into the unknown, because I'm not doing it alone.

I'm so grateful to the friend who sent me this article today: There's Always Good News if You Look for It from Good Queer News. It's full of real-life recent victories for liberation, and within each story we have multitudes of chiselers to thank for chipping away at the darkness, and for shaping a humane world. Reading it, I feel so much cause for hope.

I would love to hear about how you have been grappling with all this, too.

Joy

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Welcome to my Free Stuff
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​Interviewed on The Ego Project Podcast: Joy Malek on the INFJ Type (Plus the personality theory that goes beyond MBTI)​
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​Boundaries for Business Owners​
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​​The In Depth Personality Type Library​

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